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Every child displays behavior difficulties at some time or another, expressing anxiety at different situations or behaving in a manner that is unacceptable to others.

Very often, "bad" behavior has no deep rooted psychological cause. In some cases, the child is simply too young to appreciate what is being done wrong. Sometimes, a child's difficult behavior is part of a general developmental pattern, temper tantrums or the terrible two stage, plays a vital part in the emotional development of a toddler. In older children, high spirits and a love of fun and adventure may lead to trouble and clashes with authority that the child never really intended.

In other cases; however, a child's difficult behavior may derive from emotional disturbance, either a temporary upset or a longer term more serious problem.

A variety of emotional problems may be found to lie behind a child's behavioral difficulties. Among the most common are: insecurity resulting from family disharmony or a broken home, jealously of another member of the family, lack of affection, disfigurement or disability, over rigid discipline at home or at school, fear of failure or feelings of guilt, whether real or imaginary. Sometimes emotional problems resulting in behavioral difficulties proves too deep rooted to be identified and treated by the parents alone. In these cases, a professional counselor, social worker or psychologist should provide the child with the guidance they seek.

Discipline

A child's first experience of discipline usually comes from within the family. A parent's aim should be to give the child guidance about standards of behavior, encourage them to learn self control and help them acquire a sense of responsibility in maturity.

Lack of parental discipline may cause a child to become insecure and confused as they discover that their behavior at home is not tolerated outside the family. Excessively strict discipline, risks curbing a child's spirit of adventure and may cause him to become fearful of ever trying anything new. In some cases, unnecessarily harsh restrictions on freedom in early childhood lead to open and complete rebellion against authority later on.

Disciplining children is simply not a matter of giving out punishments, although even the most peace-loving parent will feel that some form of punishment is necessary. In fact, one of the most important elements in discipline is parental example: children learn more from modeling their parents than they do from raised voices or corporal punishment.

Expectations about a child's behavior must always be in line with the abilities of the child at different ages. It is useless, for example, to expect a one year old to feed himself without a mess.

It is also essential to remember to treat each child as an individual. Even within the same family, children have very different temperaments and require varying methods of disciplinary guidance.

Methods of Discipline

As society changes it views on child discipline, the methods of reinforcing proper behavior has changed as well. No longer is corporal punishment (spanking) favored as a method of discipline. Usually this measure is of a last resort for parent's who are frustrated with the behavioral difficulties of their child. Today, parents are using the methods of "timing out" as a way to discipline their children. For children two and under, the value of a time-out comes in the first few seconds that you've disrupted the inappropriate activity. Usually for this age group nothing beats close supervision, distraction or ignoring minor misdeeds. With preschoolers, calling a time-out may end undesirable behavior but it shouldn't be used as your first resort. Redirecting your child to appropriate behavior is often all that is necessary. Not only are these measures effective, they're far less likely to cause a scene and far more logical than going straight to a time-out. The classic time-out usually requires placing a child in a boring corner and ignoring them as not to reinforce bad behavior. The time should be one minute for every year of age your child is, for example if your child is 6 years old, the required time-out would be six minutes long. However, keep in mind that solitary confinement simply doesn't provide a good model of problem solving. It sends a message that whenever your child gets upset or angry, they should be isolated. Another method of time-out is not to banish your child, but to go with them. They'll get the idea that there are certain things they are not allowed to have or do, but your children will also know that they have someone who cares about them. Giving a time-out for a few minutes may indeed give the child a moment to regain self-control but also make a point of giving your child a second chance to do whatever they were doing wrong and do it right. Repetition is usually the best parenting method, as children absorb rules gradually, and because they are constantly growing and changing, they'll constantly test new limits. Remember, a time-out wasn't designed to be a cure-all. Just another disciplinary strategy at parent's disposal.

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